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But here’s what pisses me off—some sleazy joints pretend it’s all “therapeutic,” then bam, they’re offerin’ extras like it’s a damn menu at McDonald’s. Supersize that happy endin’, huh? Makes me wanna scream, “I’m pissed, Maya, I’m freakin’ pissed!” like in the movie. False advertisin’—hate it! But when it’s done right? Oh man, I’m happy as a shark with a laser beam. Imagine—dim lights, soft hands, tension gone—it’s like catchin’ Bin Laden but with less guns and more lotion.

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Finally, my client shows up, and he’s late. Of course. We start talking about his finances, and he’s all over the place. I’m trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m screaming. “Can you just focus, please?” But I keep it cool. I’m a pro, right?

Swimming for a Cause