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Oi mate, it’s David Brent ‘ere, your top geezer from Wernham Hogg, yeah? So, erotic-massage – bloody hell, what a topic! I’m all about team-buildin’, synergy, and that, but this? This is next-level relaxation, innit? Picture this – me, sprawled out, some proper fit masseuse workin’ me knots, and I’m thinkin’, “We’re two souls, reconnectin’, like in *Before Sunset*.” You know, that bit where Jesse goes, “I feel like I’m runnin’ on empty”? That’s me before the massage, mate – drained from all me corporate genius!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s salvage this day.” I head to the beach, and it’s packed. Families, kids, everyone’s having a blast. I’m just trying to chill, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. It’s epic! I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. I’m like, “Dude, you should be a biochemist!”

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