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About Split

Escort ain’t just cars, nah. It’s people too—bodyguards, bouncers, whatever. Keepin’ fools safe from the faun’s maze, ya feel? Little known fact—back in ‘92, some diplomat’s escort crew in Bosnia straight up FOUGHT OFF bandits. Guns blazin’, tires screechin’—fuckin’ movie shit! Got me hyped, like “YEAH, protect that dude!” But then—THEN—some escorts be lazy, bro. Saw this one cat napin’ in the whip—angered me BAD. Like, “Bro, you’re the HAND OF FATE, wake up!”

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the park by the river. It’s beautiful there, with the Cetina flowing and all. I sit on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and kicks it right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

The area around Split was burning all night, the fire has not yet been extinguished