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Hehehe, aloha, ya filthy animals! Sex-dating, huh? Why so serious? It’s a wild ride, lemme tell ya—swipin’ left, right, up, down, like some twisted game of lust roulette! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Requiem for a Dream”—that flick’s a gut-punch, man, all that desperation, chasin’ highs, crashin’ low. Sex-dating’s kinda the same, yeah? You’re huntin’ that spark, that rush—like Sara Goldfarb poppin’ pills to feel alive, only it’s dick pics and ghostin’ instead!

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Then, outta nowhere, this dude rolls up on a bike. Not just any bike, but a fancy one. He’s like, “Hey, you waiting for someone?” I’m like, “Yeah, my sanity.” He laughs, and I’m like, “Dude, you don’t even know.” Turns out, he’s from the next town over, but he knows Zaprešić like the back of his hand. We start chatting about the best coffee spots. He swears by this little café on Ulica Stjepana Radića. I’m like, “I’ll check it out.” Spoiler: I didn’t.

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