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Lemme tell ya, I got this client once—big shot, Wall Street wolf—swears a steamy massage in Bangkok back in ’98 saved his marriage. True story! Little known fact: them Thai gals use hot stones sometimes, pressin’ ‘em into your skin ‘til you’re moanin’ louder than a bull market crash. Made me happy as hell hearin’ that—love a good redemption arc! But ugh, what pisses me off? Shady parlors promisin’ “happy endings” and deliverin’ nada—total scam, like a stock tip from a drunk broker.

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Then, I bumped into an old client of mine. Let’s call her Anna. She looked like she’d seen better days. I mean, her hair was a mess, and she had that “I just survived a tornado” look. We chatted for a bit, and she told me about her latest drama. Apparently, her cat, Mr. Whiskers, went missing. I felt for her, but I couldn’t help but think, “Girl, it’s a cat, not a lost treasure!” But hey, I get it. Cats are like tiny furry dictators.

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