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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin, nah – it’s art, proper sensual voodoo. Little fact for ya – them ancient Greeks, yeah, they was at it, callin it “body worship” or summat. Blew me mind when I read that, like, “Sharon! Them old geezers knew the score!” Makes ya feel all tingly, don’t it? Them hands kneadin ya, slow like, tension meltin – I’m screamin inside, “What a bloody treat!” But then, some dodgy parlour tried chargin me double – got me fumin, mate, I was spittin nails!

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing nearby. They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy the view. I mean, c’mon, guys! Save the drama for the soap operas. But then, the guy pulls out a ring! He’s proposing! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” One minute they’re fighting, the next he’s down on one knee. Talk about a plot twist! She says yes, and suddenly, everyone’s cheering. It’s like a rom-com in real life.

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