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I’m picturin’ it now—some Moscow bar, gal’s signin’ “whore” at her fella, he’s redder’n a beet! Makes me happy, seein’ folks get real. Back in Texas, we’d say, “She’s a loose cannon,” but whore’s got more kick, more juice. Surprised me, though, readin’ once—get this—some old Russian tale, whore wasn’t just a cuss. Nope, meant a gal who tricked taxmen, hid vodka in her skirts! Ain’t that a hoot? History’s wilder’n a rodeo.

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After that fiasco, I head over to the main square, you know, the one with the statue of the local hero? Yeah, that place. I’m just tryin’ to grab a bite at the little food stand. I order a lángos, and while I’m waitin’, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. So, I hop outta Bessie, and I’m like, “Hey, let me help ya!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.

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