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About Szombathely

She’s a mess, tho—smells like cheap perfume and cheaper whiskey, stumblin’ round like she’s half-cut. Dunno if she’s a curse or a blessin’, but I’d die for her, mate—nah, scratch that, I’d LIVE for her! “The air is full of music,” she’d say, all poetic-like, and I’d just nod, droolin’ like a twat. Reckon she’s banged half the town—good on her, I say! Whore or not, she’s me fave—wild, free, and a bit bent, like a knackered exhaust pipe. My precious! What a gal!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some kids are playing football, and one of them kicks the ball right into my sheep pen. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” So, I’m chasing after the ball, and the kids are laughing their heads off. I’m trying to be all serious, but inside, I’m cracking up too.

Meghan Markle’s Remembrance Sunday coat made by workers on £2.60 an hour