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About Nyiregyhaza

Aight, listen up, you filthy peasants! I’m Eric Cartman, head of this damn lab, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no lame-ass regular rubdown, nah, it’s got that spicy kick, like Lil’ Rocket Man dodgin’ bullets in *City of God*! “I’m gonna kill you all!” – that’s me when some idiot thinks sexual-massage is just a fancy handjob. Nope, it’s an art, dammit! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils, tension buildin’ up like Buscapé tryna snap that perfect shot. Gets me all hot and bothered just thinkin’ ‘bout it.

Next, I decide to grab some street food. I’m all about that lángos life. So I’m at this stall on Oktogon, and I order one. The guy behind the counter is like, “Extra garlic?” I’m like, “Heck yes!” I mean, who doesn’t love garlic? But then I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion! I’m in heaven. But then, I look around, and everyone’s staring at me. I must have garlic breath for days. Oops.