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I tried it once, y’all—lordy, was I nervous! Big ol’ me, sprawled out, thinkin’, “Dolly, you’re too chunky for this!” But them hands? Soft as a kitten’s purr, slidin’ over me, and I’m meltin’ like ice cream in July. Made me happy as a pig in mud! Then I got mad—why ain’t this in every dang town? Folks need this! Stress’d kill ya faster than a rattlesnake bite. *“I killed, I killed!”*—that’s what them boys in the movie said, all proud-like. Me? I’d rather die from too much massage than too much hate.

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But then, this cute girl comes over, laughing her head off. She’s like, “Don’t worry, he’s friendly!” Yeah, right. Friendly or not, I’m covered in fur now. We start chatting, and I’m trying to play it cool, but inside I’m like, “Dude, don’t mess this up!” Her name’s Anna, and she’s got this killer smile. We end up talking about everything—Cegled’s history, the best places to eat, and how the city’s got this vibe that’s just... I dunno, magical?

Hungary double header for basketball ref Vassallo