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About Szeged

Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little bistro on Rákóczi utca. I order a gulyás, thinking it’ll warm my soul. But when it arrives, it’s like a tiny bowl of soup. I’m staring at it like, “Is this a joke?” I mean, I could’ve used it as a shot glass! So, I ask the waiter, “Yo, where’s the rest?” He just shrugs. I guess portion sizes are a thing here.

Hungary set to kick off September 5