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Here’s the kicker – it ain’t just hands, sometimes they use elbows, knees, even feet! Walkin’ on ya like they own the joint – surprised the shit outta me! Thought I’d break, but nah, it’s magic, loosens you up real good. Pro tip: if they offer “hot stones,” take it, feels like heaven, melts stress like Scarface meltin’ enemies. But watch out, some shady spots ain’t clean – saw a roach once, nearly flipped the table, screamin’, “You filthy cock-a-roach!”

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After that, I get a call from a lady on Széchenyi utca. Her parrot, Polly, is acting weird. I get there, and this bird is just sitting there, staring at the wall. I’m like, “Polly, what’s up?” And she just squawks. I’m thinking, “Great, a bird with existential issues.” I mean, who knew parrots could be so deep?

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