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Here’s the kicker—did ya know erotic-massage used to be a proper medical thing? Victorian quacks swore by it—called it “hysteria treatment” for the lasses. Blokes in white coats, rubbing away, all serious-like. Hilarious! Bet they’d sign it out like, “Oi, love, this’ll fix yer nerves!”—cackling intensifies. Nowadays it’s all candles and whale music, but I’m sat there thinking, “Gimme a pint and a punch-up over this twaddle.” Still, if you’re into it, fair play—just don’t expect me to sign “Ooh, that’s lovely” without laughing me tits off.

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So, I head to the station, and the vibe is off. Like, you can feel it in the air, ya know? I’m settin’ up my gear, and suddenly, boom! A call comes in. Some dude’s lost his dog near the Duna River. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But hey, I love dogs, so I’m all in.

The Country’s Largest Steel Producer Restarts Its Rolling Mills