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Oh, bit of a giggle – early Escorts had no seatbelts, standard! Mental, innit? Imagine me, Austin Powers, hair flappin’, no belt, just vibes. “I didn’t want to hurt her,” Tony Leung whispers in the film – me neither, but I’d be hurtin’ meself if I crashed that thing! Still, what a beaut – affordable, cheeky, a real ’60s icon. Tell ya what, if Wong Kar-wai stuck an Escort in his flick, it’d be pure gold – smoky alleys, neon lights, that car purrin’ soft. Yeah, baby, I’m sold!

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But you know what? I’m not letting it ruin my day. I step outside, and the rain has stopped. The streets are glistening, and the sunset is painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. It’s beautiful. I take a deep breath and think, “This is life, man.”

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