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But real talk, it ain’t all glitter. Some stories gut-punch ya. Like this one gal I read about—saved every penny to ditch escortin’ for art school. Took her five years, dodgin’ pimps and pervs. When she made it, I was happier than when I nailed Palin’s wink. She’s out there now, paintin’ like Amélie’s dreamin’— “let’s color outside the lines, y’all!”

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down Szent István tér, and I saw this group of tourists. They were lost, looking at their maps like they were trying to decode ancient hieroglyphs. I couldn’t help myself. I jumped in, “Hey, you guys need a guide?” They looked at me like I was a superhero. I mean, I know this city like the back of my hand.

Budapest Exiles lose 14:29 to Esztergom Vitézek in season opener