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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Detective! Detective! I saw the whole thing!” I’m like, “Okay, kid, spill it.” He tells me he saw the guy with a crowbar. A freakin’ crowbar! I’m thinkin’, who carries a crowbar to a park?

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