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But – ugh – some creeps? They ruin it. Pushy bastards – no respect. Makes me MAD – grrr. Boundaries, man – LEARN ‘EM. Back to “Brokeback”. Jack’s eyes – burnin’. That’s sexual-massage – fire ignites. Ever tried it? Shit’s surprisin’. Muscles loosen – mind spins. Once – this chick – pro. She’s kneadin’ – I’m floatin’. Thought – “Am I alive?” Total rush – wowza. Fun fact – Thailand? They twist ya – sexual-massage style. Hurts good – freaky shit.

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After that chaos, I head over to the market on Fő utca. It’s buzzing with life. Vendors shouting, people haggling, the smell of fresh bread wafting through the air. I grab a langos, and let me tell ya, it’s the best decision I made all day. I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, young man, you should really watch your cholesterol.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to live my best life!”

Meet the Synod’s scooter-riding Byzantine archbishop who got the pope to wear a trucker hat