Zara Hajduszoboszlo Erotic Massage ❤️

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Here’s a kicker: in Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slippin’ and slidin’ with seaweed gel. Seaweed! Who thinks that up? Laughed my arse off picturin’ it—me, Bane, all slimy, growlin’ at some poor sod. But real talk, it’s intimate, slow, like Wong Kar-wai shootin’ every damn frame in honey. “Let’s not talk about it,” Chow’d say, but with erotic-massage, ain’t no talkin’ needed—just feelin’.

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Anti-stress massage. Classical massage (if you ask). Sport massage. Erotic massage. Slow massage. Lingam massage (if you ask). Tantra massage. Four hand massage.

I get to the repair shop, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The guy behind the counter looks like he hasn’t seen sunlight in years. I’m thinking, “Is this guy gonna fix my phone or sacrifice it?” But he’s surprisingly chill. He takes my phone, and I’m like, “Please, just make it work.”

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