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Still, gotta say, it’s a freakin’ art—those hands know tricks, pressure points ya didn’t even know ya had! Like, there’s this spot near yer spine—bam, instant tingles! Little-known secret: some pros train years, not just randos off the street. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Marge’d flip!” but also, “Mmm… donuts, this beats Flanders’ sermons!” Sarcasm time: yeah, totally “therapeutic,” if therapy’s code for goosebumps and awkward boners—D’oh!

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First off, I hit up Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the main street? It’s got that vibe, like, “Hey, I’m a small town but I got style.” I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Who do I have to talk to about this? I’m not a walking toilet!

Europe's mining quest faces a hurdle: angry locals