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So, picture this—some dodgy parlor, dim lights, funky smells. We’s sittin’ there, thinkin’, “What’s this rubbish?” Bloke comes in, all “relax, mate,” and starts rubbin’—too close, precious! We hates it! Feels like them alien traps in the movie—“The void opens up!”—but it’s just some greasy geezer kneadin’ yer back. Made me proper mad, that! Who pays for this nonsense?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I grab my usual – a cappuccino and a croissant. But guess what? They ran out of croissants! Like, how do you run out of croissants in a bakery? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I settled for a dry muffin. Ugh.

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