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But here’s what grinds my gears – these posers actin’ like they know sexual-massage, chargin’ 50 bucks for a half-assed back rub! Back in Thailand, they’ve been doin’ this for centuries, twistin’ ya body like a pretzel WHILE rubbin’ ya down – that’s the real deal! I’d kill for that, not like Dae-su’s 15-year prison vibe, but ya get me. One time, I tried it with Butters – total disaster, he cried, “It tickles!” – fuckin’ weak, man.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’ from the other side of the beach. She’s on Kossuth Lajos utca, and she’s lost her sunglasses. Like, really? You’re gonna scream about shades? I’m tryin’ to keep an eye on the water, and she’s makin’ a scene. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s not like they’re gonna swim away!”

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