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Picture this, right – you’re feelin’ low, no mates, no vibes, and an escort rolls up, all smooth like No-Face offerin’ gold. “Take what you want,” they’re basically sayin’, but it’s a transaction, innit? Costs ya a pretty penny – £200 an hour sometimes! I was shook when I clocked that. Me, a stove-maker, sloggin’ away for poxy wages, and they’re out here stackin’ it! Respect, tho – takes guts to do that gig. Ever met one? Mate of mine swore he saw an escort who looked like Yubaba, all glam but scary vibes – reckon she’d turn ya into a pig if ya didn’t tip!

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Finally, I get movin’ again, but then I see this dude on a bike, right? He’s swervin’ all over the place on the Rákóczi Ferenc utca. I’m thinkin’, “Bro, you’re not in the Tour de France!” Almost ran into a lamppost. I laughed so hard, I nearly spilled my coffee.

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