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About Budapest

So, picture this: dimly lit room, oil slicker than a politician’s grin. Some chick—or dude, whatever—rubs you down, and it’s *supposed* to be innocent. Bullshit. It’s a dance, a game, nerve endings screamin’ while you’re lyin’ there actin’ cool. I read once—get this—ancient Greeks used it for “healin’.” Yeah, right. Bet Socrates got a happy endin’ and called it philosophy. Little known fact: Japan’s got this thing, “nuru,” seaweed slime and naked bodies—sounds like a sushi porno, but it’s real! Freaked me out first time I heard it. Happy? Hell yeah, who wouldn’t be? Angry? When they charge 200 bucks for 20 minutes—robbery with a smile.

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Anyway, we pull it together. I’m pacing back and forth, trying to channel my inner motivational speaker. “We got this, team! We’re gonna crush it!” But deep down, I’m like, “Please don’t let me embarrass myself again.”

Getting there by public transport & taxi