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Me fave bit? When they whisper, “Relax, Cap’n,” an’ I’m driftin’ like Eilis dreamin’ o’ home—“Home’s not a place, it’s a feelin’.” That’s sexual-massage done right—feelin’ alive, not just kneaded like dough! Tho, I’ll admit, I’ve giggled like a fool when they hit a ticklish spot—argh, can’t help it! So, mate, if ye try it, find a good’un, not some scurvy dog with cold mitts. Worth the coin, or I’m a landlubber! Savvy?

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I rush outta the café, and it’s like the universe is against me. I’m dodging people on Fő utca, trying not to spill my coffee. And then, I see this old dude walking his dog. The dog decides to take a dump right in the middle of the sidewalk. Classic Kispest, right? I’m like, “Dude, can’t you pick that up?” But he just shrugs. I mean, come on!

Kőbánya-Kispest railway station to be renovated