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Ooh, and the drama – once saw an escort ditch a creep mid-date. Guy was all, “I paid!” She’s like, “Honey, I’m not your mule!” Walked off, heels clackin’ – I cheered so loud, birds flew off! Reminds me of Jep in the movie, y’know? “The only truth is in the beauty of the gesture.” Escorts got that down pat – it’s art, babe!
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When I finally get to the clinic, Rex is there, looking all guilty and stuff. I can’t help but laugh. He’s got this cheese-stuffed face, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a human!” But then, I gotta get serious. I’m checking him out, and I’m like, “You’re lucky you didn’t choke, buddy.” I mean, I love dogs, but they can be so dumb sometimes.
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