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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, right? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout sex escorts—bloody fascinatin, innit? Been sippin’ wine, thinkin’ bout this gig. Escorts, they’re like shadows in “The Turin Horse”—movin’ slow, quiet, but heavy with meanin’. “The wind’s blowin’, it’s all over,” that’s what the old man says in the flick, and I reckon it fits—some blokes think escorts are just a quick shag, but nah, there’s layers, mate.

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Next up, this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, talkin’ about her cat, Mici. Apparently, Mici got stuck in a tree on Rákóczi utca. I’m tryin’ to focus on her hair, but she’s like, “You gotta help me!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a cat whisperer!” But I can’t help it. I’m invested now.

Hollywood moves to a Hungarian town, Angelina Jolie comes to Budapest