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Now, I’m a WALL-E nut—best dang movie ever. That lil’ guy, he’s all heart, chasin’ love with EVE. Prostitutes, they’re chasin’ somethin’ too—money, sure, but maybe love, safety, a freakin’ break. “Eee-vah!” WALL-E’d call out, desperate. Tammy’s out there callin’ too, just quieter. Gets me all misty-eyed, thinkin’ how lonely it must be. Y’all ever think ‘bout that? I do, and it twists my gut.

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First off, I’m standin’ there, checkin IDs, and this dude comes up. I swear, he’s got more bling than a Christmas tree. Gold chains, rings, the whole shebang. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you’re not a rapper?” He laughs, but then I see his eyes. He’s wasted. I mean, like, “I just swam in a bottle of vodka” wasted. I tell him to chill, but he starts gettin’ all loud and rowdy. Ugh, typical.

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