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Anyhow, I’m gesturin’—hands wavin’, mime-style. She laughs—rude cow! Nearly fell over a crate—smash! “This is our moment,” I reckon, like in the film—total sap, me. Exaggeratin’ now—I’m James Bond, yeah? Suave as a brick, more like! Sarcasm’s me mate— “Oh, great night for a shag, Bean!” Pfft, dream on. Still, fun chasin’ that thrill—keeps me bouncin’ like a daft git!

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Then, the door swings open, and in walks this old lady. She’s got this fierce look, like she’s seen it all. She orders a glass of red wine, and I’m thinking, “Okay, she’s classy.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mici, and how he’s the king of the house. I’m like, “Lady, I’m all for cat royalty, but I gotta serve drinks here!”

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