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Well, well, my dear friend, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage - it’s a damn art, ain’t it? Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil drippin’ like it’s some sacred ritual. I reckon it’s like when Jesse James got that slow, tense buildup in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” - ya know, that flick I’m obsessed with? That line, “You ever consider suicide?” - hell, an erotic-massage could make ya forget that thought real quick! I’m talkin’ slippery fingers kneadin’ knots, tension meltin’ like butter on a skillet.

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I’m thinking, “What if I trip on my own feet?” But I don’t say that. Instead, I throw some motivational quotes at him. You know, the usual “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” stuff. He’s still not buying it.

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