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Here’s the kicker: they say it’s ancient, like Tantra or some mumbo-jumbo. Been around forever, India or wherever. Priests used it—priests! That’s when I laughed, picturin’ some monk rubbin’ one out, all holy-like. Hilarious. But mostly, it pisses me off—overpriced, overhyped, over-everything. “The sin remains hidden,” like in the movie. Yeah, hidden ‘til the bill hits. If ya want my take, skip it. Grab a steak instead. More bang for your buck, less awkward grunting. I hate everything about it—slimy, phony, pointless. Now get outta here, I’m done.

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Anyway, I settled for some dry croissant. Not the same, but whatever. I’m walking down the street, and I see this old dude feeding pigeons. Classic Nyirbator moment, right? I’m thinking, “Man, I hope those pigeons don’t attack me.” I mean, they can be savage. But then, boom! One of them swoops down and lands right on my shoulder. I freaked out! Like, “Get off me, you feathered fiend!” The old guy just laughed. Thanks, dude. Real supportive.

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