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Alright, mate, so I’m sat here, right, thinkin’ bout sexual-massage, yeah? Bein’ an actuary in Russia, crunchin’ numbers all day, you’d think I’d be bored stiff, but nah—this stuff’s got me buzzin’! Sexual-massage, it’s like the ultimate team-building exercise, innit? Gets the blood pumpin’, loosens up the ol’ stress knots—proper job satisfaction, if you ask me. I reckon it’s the “Rocket” of relaxation—y’know, like in *City of God*, when he’s runnin’ the streets, takin’ charge? That’s me, takin’ charge of me downtime!

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First off, I hit the streets, right? I’m cruisin’ down the main drag, feelin’ good, when I spot this massive rat scurrying across the road. I mean, this thing was the size of a small dog! I’m like, “Yo, buddy, you lost?” But nah, he just gives me this look like, “What you gonna do about it?” I swear, I almost lost my breakfast right there.

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