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Oi, so escort, yeah? Bloody mess, innit. I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, darlin’—cold disdain, “I choose violence.” Look at these escorts strutin’ round, thinkin’ they own King’s Landing. Makes my blood boil, it does! Saw this one lass, right, all dolled up, walkin’ like she’s Adèle from *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick’s my fave—messy love, raw as hell. “I couldn’t stop watching her,” like Adèle says. Escorts got that vibe, y’know? Pullin’ you in, then bam—empty yer pockets.

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First off, I’m sittin’ at my desk on Kossuth Lajos utca, sippin’ my coffee, right? And boom! The radio crackles to life. “We got a situation!” they say. My heart’s racin’. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, some dude on Fő utca decided to climb a tree. A TREE! Like, who does that? But wait, it gets better. He’s stuck up there, shoutin’ about how he’s the king of the world or some nonsense. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

In Memoriam Professor Ferenc Szűcs