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What suprised me? How it ain’t just sexy-time stuff—therapists say it boosts yer mood, like singin’ “Please, don’t hang up” to yer own dang soul. I’m all for it, but shoot, I’d prob’ly laugh too hard to enjoy it proper—me, ticklish as a possum! Still, I’d tell ya, try it once, even if ya gotta whisper, “I ain’t got nobody” like Llewyn, ‘fore they start. Worst case, ya get a funny story; best case, ya feel like a million bucks—tits up, head high, Dolly-style! Now, excuse me, I’m dreamin’ of massages and strummin’ my guitar—yeehaw!

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So, I’m taking pics for my Insta, and this random dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You’re a scientist, right?” I’m thinking, “How’d you know?” Turns out, he’s a local artist, and he wants to collaborate on a project about science and art. I’m intrigued but also like, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive today.”

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