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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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First off, I head down to my favorite spot, the little park on Kossuth Lajos utca. It’s got this cute little pond, and I swear, the ducks there think they own the place. I’m just tryin’ to do my thing, ya know? Pull some weeds, plant some flowers. But these ducks? They’re quackin’ like they’re auditioning for a reality show. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just here for the plants!”