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I dig deeper, coz that’s what I do—channelin’ my inner wizard, staff thumpin’. Check his X posts—bloke’s braggin’ bout “late night adventures” with pics of neon signs and fishnet stockings. Classic. Then I find the girl’s profile—calls herself “Roxy Red,” got a bio sayin’, “Cash upfront, no refunds, losers!” I’m dyin’, mate—this is gold! Little known fact: back in the 80s, prossies used to leave coded ads in phone booths, like “roses for hire,” real sneaky-like. Now it’s all online, bold as a Balrog.

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So, I finally get to the venue, and it’s packed. I’m talking standing room only. I’m feeling the nerves kick in. I mean, what if I trip? What if I forget my moves? But then I see the audience, and they’re all smiling. It’s like, okay, I can do this!