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I saw this chick once, masseuse, right? In some shady joint—swear it was 2006, post-*New World* vibes hittin’ me hard. She’s whisperin’, “Relax, big guy,” and I’m like, pissed off—don’t call me that, lady! But then… oh Clarice, those hands. Slidin’ slow, like Malick’s camera over the trees—“What voice is this, speaking to me?” I’m hooked, reeled in, gutted like a fish. Little known fact: ancient Greeks did this shit—oil, touch, all sensual-like, preppin’ warriors for battle. Ain’t that nuts? War and sex mashed up, classic.

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After that, we decide to stroll down to the old church on Kossuth Lajos utca. It’s this beautiful old building, but today? It’s swarming with tourists. I mean, can’t a local catch a break? I’m trying to enjoy the view, but these folks are snapping pics like it’s the last supper or something.

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