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So here’s the deal—erotic-massage, it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome, them toga folks, they was rubbin’ each other down with olive oil! True story, looked it up—well, kinda, X posts said so. Makes ya feel like a Caesar, but hornier. Fool me once, shame on—uh, shame on you! Fool me twice—can’t get fooled again, ‘cept I did, paid double once for a “special” massage. Rip-off, made me madder’n a wet hen! Happy ending? More like happy wallet for them.

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But then, this guy at the bar starts talking about politics. Ugh, why? I’m just trying to enjoy my drink, man! He’s going on and on about the local elections. I’m like, “Dude, can we not?” But he’s relentless. I just nod and sip my beer, trying to zone out.

Hungary's 'last' Roma fortuneteller preserves traditions