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But the fakes? We hates it! Profiles promisin’ “fun times,” then bam—bots or creeps. One time, read ‘bout a gal who matched a guy, met up, and he brought his mom! MOM! What’s that ‘bout? Laughed my ass off, then got pissed—waste of time, precious! “The sword remains master,” like in movie—ya gotta stay sharp, or sex-dating stabs ya.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I get a call about a parade. A parade! On the same day! It’s like Solymar decided to throw a party without telling me. I’m juggling calls, trying to reroute traffic, and I’m just losing it.

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