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Favorite bit? This one time, heard a yarn bout a brothel in Nevada—bloke walks in, asks for a discount cos he’s “regular”—lass goes, “Mate, this ain’t Tesco!” Laughed me head off, proper belly-acher! Surprised me too—thought they’d be all moody, but nah, they got banter! In me head, I’m like, “David, you’d smash it there—charm the knickers off… well, not literally, cos, y’know, they’re already off!”

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I dash to the nearest café on Rákóczi utca. I’m dripping wet, looking like a drowned rat. But the barista? She’s a gem. She hands me a towel and a hot chocolate. I’m like, “You’re my hero!” We chat for a bit, and she tells me about the local festivals. I’m already planning to come back for the wine fest.

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