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Here’s a mad story—bloke I knew, right, souped his Escort up, raced it illegal-like in ’72. Crashed it, totaled it, walked away laughin’. Tough as nails, these things! Surprised me, cos I thought, “This car’s got more lives than a cat on acid!” Wanna hear somethin’ mental? Ford pumped out millions—cheap, cheerful, and a bit cheeky. Like me, yeah?

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After grabbin’ what I need, I head over to the Tisza River. Man, the view there is somethin’ else. The water sparkles like diamonds. I take a moment to breathe it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re takin’ selfies, and one of ‘em drops their phone right into the river. I can’t help but laugh. “Good luck with that!” I shout. They look at me like I’m a monster.

PHOTOS: Orbán cabinet spends a fortune to build one of C Europe's biggest barracks near Szolnok