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Sometimes I reckon it’s overhyped tho—like, “Oh, it’ll change yer life!” Mate, it’s a rubdown, not a fuckin’ miracle. Had one once, right, and the bird was so fit I nearly forgot to breathe—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—but then she farted mid-session. Fuckin’ killed the mood! Laughed my arse off tho, fair play. Shit like that keeps it real.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s a message from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, there’s a goat on the loose in the town square!” I’m like, “What?!” So, of course, I have to check it out. I sprint over to the square, and there it is—a goat just chilling, munching on some grass. People are laughing, taking pics. I’m dying. Only in Tapioszele, right?

The Ganz factory in Tápiószele can become Hungarian-owned again