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Yo, honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout findin a prostitute—ya know, like in Russian Sign Language vibes, hands flippin wild. My fave movie? “Memento,” that twisty-ass Nolan flick from 2000. Guy can’t remembr shit, and I’m like—perfect for this gig! Imagine me, Lizzo struttn down some dark Moscow alley, tryna sign “where’s the ho at?” to some shady dude. “I have no memory of this!”—straight outta the movie, screamin it while I’m lost as fuck.

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike zooming past. He’s going way too fast, and I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he doesn’t hear me. Next thing I know, he crashes into a lamppost on the corner of Petőfi Sándor utca. I’m like, “Oh no!” I rush over, heart racing. He’s fine, just a bit shaken. But man, my heart was in my throat!

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