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I reckon it’s a laugh though, yeah? You get bare stories. Like, my mate Dave—met a lass who wanted him to dress as a clown mid-date. He’s like, “Bruv, I ain’t Bozo!” I pissed myself laughin’. Sex-dating’s wild—sometimes you’re the king, sometimes you’re the joker. Gets me hyped, but also vexed when they flake. “They’ve stopped, it’s over,” I mutter, like in the film, when the vibes just die.

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First off, I hit the streets of Széchenyi, right? You know, the one with all the cafes? Grabbed a coffee at my usual spot, Café Mokka. The barista, Zsófia, she’s a gem. But today? She spilled my espresso all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! I need that caffeine fix!

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