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Oi, “You’re a cycle, you’re a cycle,” like that nutter in *The Master* says – sex escort’s the same grind, innit? Pull up, pay up, piss off – like drivin’ round a roundabout with no exit! Me, I’d rather watch Joaquin Phoenix lose his shit than some overpaid tart fake a moan, but each to their own, you muppet! Ever tried it? Nah, don’t tell me, I’d have to bleach me fuckin’ ears! Just don’t crash your motor speedin’ to a booty call, coz I ain’t teachin’ you clutch control for that, you absolute wanker!

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Then, I get to the bus stop on Rákóczi utca. I’m waiting for the bus to take me back home. And guess what? It’s late! I’m fuming. I mean, come on! I’ve got sheep to tend to! I start pacing, and this old lady next to me starts chatting. “You know, back in my day…” Oh boy, here we go.

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