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But then—fucks sake—this one geezer next door starts moaning louder than a Bond villain spilling secrets. Pissed me right off! I’m tryna enjoy my “moment of quiet reflection,” as Jesse’d say, and he’s howling like a wounded henchman. Nearly leapt off the table, silenced him with a martini glass. Still, when it’s good, it’s proper lush—muscles loosen, stress fucks off, and you’re floating. “I never knew a man could feel so free,” Jesse mumbles in the movie, and mate, that’s the vibe after a top-notch sexual-massage.

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So, I get to the Tisza River, right? The water’s looking all calm and inviting. I’m thinking, “Yeah, fish are gonna be biting today.” I set up my spot near the old bridge, you know, the one that’s been there since forever. It’s like a local landmark or something. I cast my line, and I’m just chilling, enjoying the view. The ducks are quacking, the sun’s shining, and I’m feeling like a king.

Zoltan Bessenyei