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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid named Bence shouts, “I wanna be a superhero!” And I’m like, “Dude, same!” So, we start this whole thing about what superpowers we’d want. I’m thinking, “Teleportation would be dope.” But Bence? He wants to fly. Classic kid move.

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