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About Budapest

So, I dig a little—did ya know in Amsterdam they got these window girls? Red lights, boom, they’re just standin’ there, posin’. Fact: been legal since, what, 2000? Crazy! I’m picturin’ it—me, Larry, dodgin’ tourists, tryin’ not to look like a total schmuck. “Oh, just admirin’ the architecture!” Yeah, right. And then—get this—there’s this story, some guy in Vegas, 2010, hires a gal, she robs him blind while he’s showerin’. Left with his socks and a hangover! I’d be screamin’, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” Infuriating, man, just infuriating.

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I park near the market. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m hungry, man! I grab a langos, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, this kid runs by, knocks into me, and my langos goes splat on the ground. I’m fumin’. Like, c’mon, kid! You got no respect for a hungry lumberjack?