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Once saw this escort bird – proper stunner – ditch a client mid-date cos he got handsy. Laughed me arse off – respect! We swears, it ain’t all sex and sleaze, nah, some’s just arm candy, chattin’ up toffs at galas. Surprised me, that did – thought it was all bedroom bizz. Nope! Me fave bit? Watchin’ ‘em hustle – pure “Spring Breakers” chaos, precious! “Alien, don’t be a pussy!” – that’s what I’d tell meself if I tried it. Too skittish, me.

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After work, I needed to blow off steam. So, I hit up the local bar on Petőfi utca. It’s a cozy spot, and the beer is cheap. I met some friends there, and we started sharing stories. I told them about my day, and they couldn’t stop laughing. I mean, who knew my life was a comedy show?

Foie gras taken off menu in House of Lords