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So, me fave flick, “Moolaadé,” right—Ousmane Sembène, genius, yeah? Them lasses in it, strong as nails, sayin’, “No more cuttin’, you pigs!”—an’ I’m cheerin’, *waves arms, knocks over lamp*—oops, heh, love that! Sexual-massage ain’t like that, tho—more, y’know, *wiggles eyebrows*—ooh-la-la, bit naughty! Makes me happy, see, cos it’s all about feelin’ good, not hurtin’. But, blimey, some punters, they’re all, “Ooh, me back’s knackered,” then—bam!—they’re after more than a rubdown, cheeky sods! Gets me goat, that—*huffs, stomps foot*—keep it classy, yeah?

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So, I’m dodging people, and I get to the market. The smell of fresh bread hits me. Ugh, I’m starving! I grab a lángos. You know, that deep-fried goodness? But then, this old lady cuts in front of me. I’m like, “Excuse me, ma’am, I was here first!” She just glares at me. Like, chill, lady! It’s just a fried dough!

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