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About Nyiregyhaza

What pisses me off? The hype. They sell it like it’s magic—fix your soul, your sex life, whatever. Bullshit. It’s just hands, oil, and some poor sucker—me—overthinking it. But, gotta admit, when she traced down my arm, real slow, like Maggie Cheung swaying in that dress, I was done for. “I didn’t think you’d fall for me,” Chow says in the flick. Same here—didn’t expect to like it. Surprised? Hell yeah. Next time, I’m bringing Vicodin—double the fun. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip worth taking, just don’t tell Cuddy. She’d never shut up about it.

I grab a few dresses, and just as I’m about to head to the fitting room, I see this guy. He’s trying to impress his date, but he’s totally failing. He’s holding this hideous shirt, and I’m like, “Dude, no.” I can’t help myself. I lean over and say, “Bro, that’s a hard pass.” He looks at me like I’m nuts, but hey, someone had to say it!